2005-07-16 - 5:49 p.m.
I've been completely out of touch with everyone for a week now... it's strange... I haven't even been able to get online to check email or read journals...
Before I left.. it was decided, that I shouldn't be owned by Rahani anymore, that I would still wear her collar, but she is more or less, a steward, watching over me, and trying to train me as best as she can until I find the one I match with better.
When I left, I was very sad and lonely about that, I felt disconnected from her... It upset me alot.
But this past week, I've continued to wear my collar, and just sort of immerse myself into my new life, and things have been going okay. She seems to be having some trouble lately, and I really realy hope she's doing okay. Rahani or not, she is still a friend, and I still care about her very deeply.
In a way it's funny.. I think being with her prepared me alot for this place, if I hadn't spent a week+ with her, wandering around her house naked, I don't think I could have managed the full nude hot springs here...
There's alot of nice people here, and some really cute girls, some that actually... *purrs* fit my tastes rather well... a Blonde with the most gorgeous dreads... Allison, *shivers* the hair and the piercings... BLUE!
*grins cheshirely* and I get to seem them naked at the hot springs, can't say that's anything at all to complain about!!!
I don't know.. that I will find someone who is into BDSM here really... it's a very hippy place... I wonder how long she will steward me... *sighs* I do miss her.. as I write this... I'd like to talk to her, and see how she's been doing...
No chance though.. not right now I guess.. it will happen, and I will speak to her again, when I am meant to I suppose...
Unowned.. it's weird... to be honest.. I really don't like it at all... it is what it is though... and our paths, travel as they are meant to travel... this place... is going to change me... alot.. I can already sense it... it's coming.. something big is going to happen to me here... I don't know what.. or how.. but it is... when I leave this externship, I will be a much different man than I was before.
I only hope.. I don't leave friends and loved ones... like Rahani.. behind when it happens.
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